TRIGGER WARNING
(((This post may be triggering to some people who have previously experienced or currently have hidden or known abuse, traumas, and/or challenging life experiences. Let the reader beware before reading further. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit if you should read or not, or to stop if necessary.)))
Mom Where Were You?
Mom, where were you when I was 5 years old?
Mom, where were you when I was 5 years old and afraid of the dark?
Mom, where were you when I needed someone to comfort me from the fear of the winds?
Mom, where were you when I was 5 years old, crawled into your bed for comfort, but dad told me to go away and you made me lie alone on the floor next to your bedside, afraid and in the dark?
Mom, where were you when Dad threw sibling into the closet and yelled at me to not get him/her?
Mom, where were you when Dad threw away my 7th grade history castle project made of sugar cubes, my prized possession at that time?
Mom, where were you when the neighbor molested me at age 5 years old? Why were you not there to protect me?
Mom, where were you when the cousins egged me on to skinny-dip at Lake Powell? Why didn't you get mad with them for, in your own words, "corrupting" me?
Mom, where were you when I was growing up, needing a shower in the morning before school, especially on my period days? Why did you let Dad be mean to me and refuse me a morning shower?
Mom, where were you when I was growing up? Why didn't you teach me how to cook? Why didn't you teach me about family life, how to pick a good mate, and raise kids?
Mom, where were you when I needed someone to show me how to wear makeup? Instead, you prohibited me from wearing any or to use very little.
Mom, where were you when I needed advice, or someone to talk to about boys? Why did you tell me I don't need to think about them until I'm older?
Mom, why did you make fun of me at the park? Do you remember when you laughed at me and asked me how I was doing?
Mom, you do not have the right to raise your voice and yell at me.
Mom, you are manipulating and controlling the narrative; you are making me throw away all my belongings and pretending like it is my idea.
Mom, I refuse to allow your demons to harrass or oppress me anymore.
Mom, I am going somewhere far far away where I am loved and appreciated.
Mom, where were you when I needed someone to help prepare me for life?
Mom, why haven't you taken any responsibility for your lack of motherhood towards and with me?
Mom, why are you unable to look at yourself with honesty? Integrity?
Mom, what happened to you that makes you so fearful of the world?
Mom, what happened to you?
Mom, did you know what grandpa told me? He said to answer yes on questions that ask about military service, even though I'm not in the military?
Mom, I understand; you married young and had very little home training yourself so maybe that is why you were unable to provide me with what I needed when I was growing up.
June 5, 2021 3:14 PM Just a few of my current thoughts on "things".
